Scotty McCreery wins American Idol

[Editor's note] A baritone-voiced 17-year-old white boy has been crowned America's newest idol. Topping fellow teenager Lauren Alaina, Scotty McCreery took the big prize home last night on the season finale of Idol.

It was a less than shocking results show. The only people who watched this season were the ~3 million middle-of-the-country Bush voters who listen to country music on a loop. That's the only explanation for the top two contestants being-- you guessed it-- country artists. Nothing against the genre (Patsy, Dolly, & Reba have given me a lot over the years), but on the reals: this was not a season of variety.

That being said, let's discuss what last night was really about, namely the star-studded performances. Firstly, Tony Bennett can do no wrong. The man is eighty-five (85) and still wowing audiences with his pipes. His performance with Idol contestant Haley Reinhart was incredibly charming. I'm so excited to hear that he's releasing a part deux to his wildly successful Duets album.

In other performance news, doesn't it seem as though Beyonce and Lady Gaga are inescapably everywhere? I'm not complaining; both are among the most talented talents out there today. But I'm just saying, ever'day they're hustlin'. I liked that Beyonce did something old from her catalogue because I'm not completely sold on the new stuff. In regards to the Gaga "Edge of Glory" performance: I'm warming up to the song, but did she HAVE to sing it on the edge of the Aggro Grag?

The showstopping performance last night was delivered by the incomparable Marc Anthony. Proving that he's much more than Mr. Jennifer Lopez, he electrified the crowd with a classic Hector Lavoe song. To say that my little Latin heart soared as he came out is putting it mildly. I was convulsing. Then to finish me off, JLo came out in a FABULOUS fringe dress and I lost any and all feeling in my lower extremities. We'll leave it there.

All that said, American Idol has lost its luster for me. As much as I enjoyed JLo and Steven Tyler at the judges table, the show has run its course. Thanks for the laughs Idol, but I'm ready for Simon, Paula, and X Factor.

Below you'll find the Marc Anthony perfomance:

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