Regarding the Bette Midler concert in Las Vegas

November 04, 2009

[Editor's note] I've had few religious experiences in my life. Visiting Vatican City was one. Traveling to Cuba with my mother for the first time was another. Seeing Tina Turner in concert was the most recent. But I have to admit, all pale by comparison to seeing Bette Midler in "The Showgirl Must Go On." Loving her as I have from the tender age of 7 or 8, I could think of no better to celebrate my birthday than by embarking on a holy pilgrimage to see the Divine Miss M!

In what can only be described as a powerhouse performance of camp and comedy, this show was everything I had hoped for and more. Performing in the Colosseum at Caesar's Palace, Bette's show was an all-encompassing roller coaster of emotion. In true Bette style, she made me laugh, she made cry, she almost made me faint a few times. How could you not while sitting a mere six rows away from "the People's Diva" (as she's going by these days)?

In any case, the show started with a bang. My little homo heart damn near exploded as soon as she revealed herself atop a pile of name-brand luggage, in a sequins pant suit, curly blond hair to the four winds, and exclaiming, "Oh my God, she's still alive!" From that point on, we lost cabin pressure. The entire opening number, an homage to the Vegas showgirl, was a dizzying display of legs, feathers, cleavage, and confetti not to be believed. I was in rapture.

Pausing for a few moments between numbers, she greets the audience and talks about her tenure at the Colosseum. Playing up the aging Diva card, she explains that she gets a work out just from walking from one side of the 120ft wide stage to the other. She also reminisces about the earlier days in her career when the audiences would be on drugs. But now, she laments, they're mostly on Medicare.

Costume changes galore and choreography that rivals anything on Broadway, she then takes us on a side-splitting journey through a career that spans four decades. Blazing through show-stopping standards like "In The Mood," "The Rose," and "From A Distance," it's unabashedly clear that this Diva still has it.

Enter Delores Delago, "the toast of Chicago." The show's camp factor goes through the roof as the infamous wheelchair-mobile mermaid takes the stage. The down-on-her-luck mermaid pays tribute to the great Vegas-style performers of the past with numbers like "Viva Las Vegas," "Lucky Be My Lady," and "Blue Hawaii."

Camp and comedy aside, the show's most powerful moments had little else but Bette at center stage, doing what she does best: belting them out.

The first of these moments took place behind a transparent black and white picture of New York City, where Bette gave us a heart-wrenchingly sad rendition of "Hello in There." Cue my tearful breakdown. The second and most memorable moment came right as I was trying to put myself together. Standing in front of a solidly black backdrop, she sings the hell out of "When A Man Loves A Woman." It was during that song that I realized what a legend sounds like. Before I could help myself, I was on my feet clapping away the goosebumps and the tears.

Her trademark camp returns in showgirl style with an epic head dress "the size of Tennessee." In front of a full line of chorus girls, clad in a pink corset and heels, she then performs "Pretty Legs" and "Big Knockers." Tired from these high-octane numbers, she throws herself on the floor and yells, "Celine! Come back, all is forgiven!"

Enter Sophie Tucker. Out of breath and out of ideas, Bette channels Soph to get her through the rest of the show. What proceeds is a relentless bombardment of tried and true dirty jokes that only she can deliver. Unfortunately, I can't remember a single one from that night, but I know they mostly revolved around Ernie's penis. She then brings the showgirl bit to a close by sitting on the front steps and playing "The Glory of Love" on a ukulele.

Bette returns with a mind-blowing rendition of "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." It should go without saying that I practically fainted at the sight of a vintage reel of Bette in the background while her dancers paraded around in vintage Bette garb. As big, gay, patriotic extravaganzas go, this was pretty epic.

As the big (and final) song approached, Bette takes the audience aside and tells us that she knows and understands the love people have for it. In a final jab at Celine, she then begins to sing, "Every night in my dreams..." LOL's behind her, the real encore number was none other than "Wind Beneath My Wings." Stripped of everything else but her in a black dress, this song packed an emotional wallop I wasn't really prepared for. More tears and clapping ensue.

Long story short, Bette's showgirl show was cosmically fabulous! It was an emotional night of music and comedy that firmly plants Bette at the center of my universe.