Review: Mirror Mirror

[Editor's note] It’s a tough time to be a good movie nowadays. I mean, just look at what’s popular: an American Pie remake? A Three Stooges movie? Titanic?! In this blogger’s not-so-humble opinion, there’s something seriously wrong with the American viewing public. But this isn’t about what’s wrong with movies. This is about one film that got it all right.

Last week, I went to see the tragically underrated, gaytastically funny Mirror Mirror.

As a reimaging of the age-old Snow White tale, this film took every creative liberty imaginable and improved it by leaps and bounds. The story mostly follows an evil but campy Queen (played to the hilt by Julia Roberts) as she steals control of a kingdom. To do so, she exiles its rightful heir, Snow White (played somewhat lack-lusterly by Lily Collins). Left to fend for herself in the woods, she comes across seven resourceful rebels (read: dwarves), charms them as only pretty lost princess’ can do, and enlists them to win back her birthright.

Clearly, this is not a film to watch for substantive plot points. It’s a kids movie. But it’s worth your time for a few reasons. Firstly, Julia Roberts is a hoot and a half to watch. Despite her penchant for wearing a lot of gold, her turn as an evil Queen is a gay boy’s dream realized. She’s funny, bitchy, and utterly and unapologetically narcissistic. Her self-centeredness is nothing if not awe-inspiring

Julia is aided considerably by the indomitable Nathan Lane who plays Brighton, a spineless man-servant in the service of the Queen. He does what he’s told, enthusiastically lauds her every move, and helps her get dressed. To put it simply, he’s both her henchman and her gay pal.

Speaking of happy helpertons, Snow White’s ragtag dwarves are what give Mirror Mirror its gritty edge. Gone are the adjective-based names of the traditional story. With rough and tumble names like Butcher and Grimm, these are clearly not your Disney dwarves of yesteryear. Of special note: my crush from Pit Boss is one of the dwarves. The very good-looking Sebastian Saraceno plays Wolf, a dwarf whose main schtick is to howl. I’m not complaining, he can howl or holler at me anytime he wants to.

If nothing yet has convinced you to see Mirror Mirror, take a gander at Prince Alcott (See right). Played by the incomprehensibly handsome Armie Hammer, this prince packs a pair of furry pecs that should not go unseen. And those pecs make two (2) cameos. Pants-tightening aside, he’s really terrific. His best scenes are those when he’s deflecting the Queen’s come ons.

Overall, the film is shot beautifully and written to please audiences of all ages. It’s funny fluff. Mirror Mirror is the kind of feel-good film that fires up the little kid in us all.