The gay couple’s guide to nonmonogamy

The Advocate talks to three nonmonogamous couples about making their relationships work. The following is an excerpt from one of the couples that I think explains how nonmonogamous-minded people operate:

Mikey Rox and Everett Earl Morrow, both now 30, were committed to monogamy when they met and fell in love. That was five years ago.

"After a couple instances of infidelity to which we both confessed, we decided it’s not realistic to expect either of us to never hook up with anyone else ever again,” says Rox, principal of Paper Rox Scissors Copy and Creative in Manhattan.

The legally married couple has had an open relationship for the last two years.

“Who wouldn’t want to be allowed to hook up with other guys and have their husband be OK with it?” he asks. “Isn’t that what most men dream of, and isn’t the limitation of sex with one partner in a marriage the reason why so many people cheat?”

Adds Morrow, “As two men, sex isn’t particularly emotional for either of us. That enables us to separate our love for one another from the occasional physical attraction we may have for another guy.”

Although no one knows for sure how many gay couples are in open relationships, or whether they are on the decline, it’s certain these men are not alone.

“I would feel comfortable saying that at least four out of five long-term gay male couples are not monogamous,” says Beverly Hills sexologist Winston Wilde. “Monogamy rarely does work for more than two years — for most straight and bi men as well.”

The rest of this fascinating article (along with a list of things to think about when setting boundaries for sexual activity outside your primary relationship), can be found here.

If you missed the previous posts on the subject of nonmonogamy, you can catch up here and here.